The ‘Plot’: A Whiskey-Swilling, Bumbling Link to Iran

If you thought the DC “assassination plot” sounded improbable before, wait until you hear how the whole ridiculous story ties into Iran’s Quds Force.

Detailing the connection of a “notorious Iranian militant,” the Washington Post is only too willing to take the allegations at face value, spelling out with a straight face one of the most preposterous narratives imaginable.

It goes like this: Quds Force Commander Abdul Shahlai, who is a real whiz with assassinations, decided to use Mexican drug cartels (for some inscrutable reason) to either kidnap or knock off the Saudi Ambassador.

But Shahlai didn’t know any drug cartels. So he called up his cousin, a whiskey-swilling failed used car salesman from Texas. Why, you ask? A direct quote from Wapo says:

U.S. officials say that Shahlai hoped that Arbabsiar, by virtue of his time in Texas, might be able to get in touch with Mexican drug traffickers

That’s right ladies and gentlemen: the case for Iran’s Quds Force being behind this “plot” rests on the assumption that a highly organized military force that is supposedly at the forefront of the assassination game called somebody’s bumbling cousin who lived in Texas, to see if he happened to know any Mexican drug cartels, because Texas is close to Mexico.

  • Crumplestiltskin

    Are you speaking in code? You obviously are. You used the words "plot" and "ladies and gentlemen" in the same post. That's clearly code for "blow up the Saudi ambassador in a crowded Washington restaurant". Don't try to deny it. It's all there in black & white.

    Gotta love the way The Whitewash Post ended that article: "Buy it. Buy it all."

    Subliminal double-entendre? Or a Freudian slip-n-fall?

    • Aarky

      It gets better and better! One of the gushing PR reps from Uncle Sam said, "You can't make this stuff up" to describe all the improbable events in this latest sting. OH YES THEY CAN, and they do.

  • liveload

    The whole thing is complete nonsense. They probably busted the guy smuggling dope and discovered he was not a Mexican but an Iranian and proclaimed, "Whoo Doggie! We got ourselves an Eye-Rainian here boys!". They then proceeded to cook up the only kind of plot a bunch of morons from ICE could think of, and sold it to some stuffed suit with a snazzy powerpoint presentation. So then Mansoor Arbabsiar goes from smoking too much pot then losing his keys and cell phone to Evil Genius/Mastermind/Public Enemy Number One virtually overnight.

    • Rick

      Exactly right. Bingo:

      The past record of Sting Operations like the Iran-Mexico-Used_car_dealer plot:
      http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/08/nyregion/defend

      quote from New York Times article above:

      “United States District Judge Colleen McMahon said Wednesday in Manhattan that she was not proud of the government’s role in nurturing the plot and criticized its handling of the case.

      “The government made them terrorists,” she said.

  • JohnDowser

    As an alternative to complete idiocy being in charge, I'm entertaining the thought – nearly a wish – that this is actually an intricate trap set by Iran's intelligence agency, setting up a dimwit fellow countryman and hoping the Washington zealots would run with it and make utter fools of themselves. To shame them, toy with them.

    Then again, what is worse: idiots digging their own grave and accidentally falling into it or others digging it and waiting for idiots to fall into the pit. Blindness is the case in both instances.

  • skulz fontaine

    It's a 'vast wing-ding conspiracy' and there's little doubt about that. Ergo- the entire "assassination plot" is laughable bullsh*t.

    • popsiq

      Ya didn't hear any gunshots, did ya?

  • Sam

    The Saudi Ambassadore is too insignificant for Iran to plot to kill him. He is not even related to the king. It was simply a Zionist-Saudi-US plot.

  • popsiq

    The booze-swoggled secret agent in point has failed again, as he has at most things he's tried since coming to America some years ago.

    Not only that we're to believe that the goons at the airport and border crossing points who can have Granny out of her Spanxx in a trice, let ol' scarface just wander past securitry after his returns from multiple trips to the land of the wily Mede and enough forays south of the Rio Grande to make him resermble someone headed for the bano after too may frijoles. For even decent Americans such a voyage to Iran would have garnered at least a personal interview (debriefing) and for an Iranian expat the trips to Mexico should have had some blackshirt thinking, at least, 'sex tourist' or 'gunrunner'.

    But maybe all this 'ineffectivitiness' are contrived parts of the 'operation'. You can however make this up too.

  • Pingback: Lawmakers: DC Assassination Plot ‘Very Real’ -- News from Antiwar.com()

  • Pingback: Iran: DC Plot Suspect a High Profile MeK Member -- News from Antiwar.com()

  • Pingback: Attack the System » Blog Archive » War and the Return of Populism()

  • That’s right ladies and gentlemen: the case for Iran’s Quds Force being behind this “plot” rests on the assumption that a highly organized military force that is supposedly at the forefront of the assassination game called somebody’s bumbling cousin who lived in Texas, to see if he happened to know any Mexican drug cartels, because Texas is close to Mexico.