Via David Weigel, I see that Jonah Goldberg’s hotly anticipated (and anticipated… and anticipated) tome Liberal Fascism has a new working subtitle. Instead of The Totalitarian Temptation from Mussolini to Hillary Clinton, it’s now The Totalitarian Temptation from Hegel to Whole Foods. Now the Hegel part is clearly a case of a flyweight thinking he’s a, well, featherweight. But Jonah may be onto something with Whole Foods. Why, just yesterday I noticed how the local Whole Foods had invaded a Piggly Wiggly over in the ghetto. There was carnage in the produce section as the Granola Gestapo mowed down everyone who refused to buy organic. They were tearing through the meat department, turning the cleavers and meat-slicers on the butchers, screaming, “Live free range or die, you backward f*cks!” I could hear the wails of tortured confessions coming from those caught with Mad Dog 20/20 in the booze aisleâ€¦
But seriously, folks, Whole Foods CEO John Mackey really is a fascist. He’s always denying people their habeas corpus rights, waterboarding suspected resisters in foreign countries he illegally occupies, claiming that his office exists outside the bounds of the Constitution, threatening to nuke people who haven’t done anything to him, and much, much more. Somebody should impeach that asshole.