July 10, 2000
An
Internationalist Catechism
Under
circumstances which I am unwilling to divulge I have received an
explosive document. Supposedly memorised by the inducts of Chatham
House and the New Republic, one reading of this document
will convince you that the age of sovereign democracy is passed
and we must prepare ourselves for the Brave New World of international
bureaucratic governance. I was wrong, that's all I can say.
Top
Secret –
The Internationalist Catechism
THE
BASICS
- Who
made you?
- NATO
made me.
- Why
did We make you?
- To
love and serve You in this world, and bomb women and children
into the next.
- What
is Peace?
- War
is Peace.
- What
is Strength?
- Ignorance
is Strength.
- What
is Freedom?
- The
Balkan Stability Pact is Freedom.
RIGHT
AND WRONG
- What
is wrong?
- Ethnic
cleansing is wrong.
- Is
it wrong at all times?
- It's
wrong at all times when Serbs do it. When Serbs are cleansed it
is a prerogative of national security.
- Is
Racism a sin?
- It
is a sin when practiced by Balkan unter-menschen.
THE
NEW HITLER
- What
can be compared to the Holocaust?
- All
Serbian actions can be compared to the holocaust.
- What
can not be compared to the Holocaust?
- Abortion,
euthanasia, refusal to resuscitate the elderly in hospitals, the
treatment of the American Indians, the clearances of the Australian
Aborigines.
- Who
is the New Hitler?
- It
depends on the month and year.
- Who
defines the New Hitler?
- The
American President, as an extra-constitutional power, can define
the New Hitler.
- What
are the attributes of the New Hitler?
- The
New Hitler is foreign, stubborn and resistant to Our beneficial
designs.
WAR
CRIMES
- What
is the highest war crime?
- Resisting
Our Will.
- What
are not war crimes?
- It
is not a war crime to bomb a passenger train, blow up a television
station, starve half a million children, flatten an aspirin factory,
aid and abet drug dealers, decimate refugee convoys, arm terrorist
organisations and then lie about it all.
- Why
are they not war crimes?
- Because
we pay the cost of the tribunals.
THE
EVILS OF ISOLATION
- What
are Isolationists?
- Isolationists
are vicious, backward looking and popular.
- Don't
you mean populist?
- Oops
- Why
do Isolationists oppose war?
- Isolationists
oppose war, because they want war.
- Why
are Isolationists racists?
- Isolationists
are racist because they oppose killing foreigners.
- Why
do Isolationists hate their own country?
- Because
they do not want their own country in needless foreign wars.
- Why
are Isolationists like Hitler?
- Hitler
went on aggressively expansionist wars in the process bringing
his country's moral standing and economy to unbelievable depths.
So the isolationists must be for that.
- Why
are Isolationists evil?
- Because
We say they are.
- Why
can We say this?
- Because
We are in charge.
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