Long, Hillary Summer
George Szamuely
New York Press


Already pre-Clinton America grows ever dimmer in memory. There are many alive today who will probably never again live in a Clinton-free America. With Hillary’s elevation to the Senate now assured, this summer will be a time to get used to the idea that the Clintons will always be with us. The lies, the arrogant sense of entitlement, the self-indulgent drivel, the ruthless quest for power. And – worst of all – they will be with us here in New York. Hillary will be Senator; while Bill will be…well, wherever his spiritual journey takes him. Unlike the Giulianis, who seem genuinely uncomfortable about revealing the dismal details of their unhappy lives, the Clintons relish their little soap opera and demand that we all join them on their strange odyssey.

Last summer it was Bill Clinton, victim of child abuse. In the middle of the August doldrums – as if we had not already had our fill of their sordid little marital doings – Hillary revealed that her husband had been "scarred by abuse" as a small boy. "There was terrible conflict between his mother and grandmother," she explained in Talk. "A psychologist once told me that for a boy being in the middle of a conflict between two women is the worst possible situation. There is always the desire to please each one." Hence little Billy grew up to become a skirt chaser. Hillary’s logic was a little baffling. Since the two women were vying for the boy’s affection, why would he be the one so eager to please?

Hillary’s psychobabble was met with widespread derision, and she had to beat a hasty retreat. "Everyone is responsible for his or her behavior – including the President and all the rest of us," she announced sniffily. She would never discuss the matter again, she declared.

But reticence is as difficult for the Clintons as charm is for the Giulianis. Summer is here and this year it’s time for Bill Clinton’s midlife crisis. The most important man on Earth suddenly feels emasculated. In a few months he won’t be able to lob bombs at anyone. Limousines, motorcades, Air Force One, the football that launches the nuclear missiles, Secret Service flunkies – all that will just be a distant memory. His wife will be more important than he is. He is depressed. He makes a video in which he vainly chases a limousine to deliver his wife’s lunch. He calls friends in the middle of the night and keeps them on the phone for hours. One of these "friends" says: "When you hear that lonely voice you know it’s time to sit up and turn on the light because you know this is going to take a while." No wonder Clinton’s vaunted sexual allure is on the wane. His dog Buddy is the only one prepared to go to bed with him.

"I’ll miss a lot of things," he reflected sadly the other day. Wistfully he looks back on his days in the White House. They were good for his marriage. "I got to live above the store," he explains. So "we’ve probably had more time together in our time here than at any point in our marriage. And I’ve enjoyed that immensely. It’s been wonderful for us." Monica Lewinsky? Who she? Perhaps Bill and Hillary might have a second child. "I envy him very much," Clinton said of British Prime Minister Tony Blair, whose wife, Cherie, is expecting their fourth child. "I think it’s a great thing for them. It’ll keep them young." So why not the Clintons? He does not have much to do all day, so he could spend "a lot of time with the baby."

Hillary informs us that she intends to spend "the rest of [her] life" with Bill. Remember, nothing the Clintons say is to be believed. Hillary is as big a liar as her husband. The Clintons intend to return to the White House. Hillary could not care less about the Senate. She just needs something to do for the next four years before she can make a run for the presidency.

Interestingly, that is also how Rudy Giuliani saw this race. Hillary and Rudy were always almost indistinguishable. By revealing himself now to be a touchy-feely sort of person, it will be truly difficult to tell whether Rudy is Hillary in drag, or Hillary is Rudy in drag. On the issues, the two agree on everything. Abortion, gay rights, gun control, immigration, welfare. They are both death penalty enthusiasts. They both want to lock people up and throw away the key. They both want to treat juveniles as adult criminals. They both supported the Juvenile Justice Bill. They both want more federal intrusions in policing. And of course they both hate free speech. Giuliani wants to cut off funding to BMA. Hillary champions the Communications Decency Act and the Child Online Protection Act. Hillary is also an enthusiast of Internet filtering in libraries. "Personally, if I were in a library I would employ filters because I think that there is a lot of stuff on the Web that is just not appropriate for children, or for adults for that matter," she explained with her usual elitist arrogance.

So what should we do this summer? Go live out of state.

Read George Szamuely's Antiwar.com Exclusive Column

Archived Columns by George Szamuely from the New York Press

Long, Hillary Summer

Communicating Power

Law as Ordered

What Threat?

Peculiar Yet Brave

Closed to Debate

Arrogance of Power

Prison Love

Gore's Oil

Rough Justice

Race Race

Al the Coward

Intruder Alert

McCain's Money

Haider Seek

Out of Africa

Prosecute NATO

Villain or Victim?

Intervention, Immigration, and Internment

Home-Grown Terrorism

Who Benefits?

Laws of Return

Embassy Row

Selling Snake Oil

Chinese Puzzle

That Was No Lady, That Was the Times

The Red Tide Turning?

Pat & The Pod

United Fundamentalist States

Let Them All Have Nukes!

Liar, Liar

Gangster Nations

Puerto Rico Libre – and Good Riddance

Leave China Alone

A World Safe for Kleptocracy

Proud To Be Un-American

All articles reprinted with permission from the New York Press


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