My Latest Terrorist Tendencies

I was subwaying into Washington last night when I learned of a grave new terrorist peril.

The train’s driver kept repeating, “For safety and security reasons, please do not take pictures or video recordings of Metro trains and buses.”  He recited this core message with often  mystifying enunciation after each subway station.

To jazz up the rendition, he occasionally added ominously at the end of the announcement: “POLICE WILL BE NOTIFIED.”

If that actually happened, it could wake up Metro police, putting them in a more surly mood than usual. The subway police are renown for their heroics in  arresting 12 year old girls criminally consuming French Fries within Metro confines.  But in recent years, they have broadened their hassle-outreach.

I took some photos of a subway train entering the Tenleytown  station a few weeks ago.  To my untrained eye, the photos all looked like crap, thanks to my camera savvy and the dim lighting in the station.   But to experts at Homeland Security, the blurs might contain a secret message for Al Qaeda.

I was not surprised to learn of my terrorist tendencies, since people have been emailing me such accusations IN ALL CAPS for the last 4 years.  But I did a quick Google search and found heaps of clear photos of the Washington subway.

Even worse, the subway system itself has created and released photographs of trains.   Terrorist infiltration of the subway system might but probably doesn’t explain all the recent train breakdowns and delays.

Unfortunately, I was the only person on the train who snorted loudly when the driver announced the photo ban and the police warning.  Perhaps people in Washington are more docile than elsewhere – perhaps some people are comforted by the endless halfwit bans.

At least in Washington, antiterrorism BS still sells.

Comments & cavils on this post welcome at my blog here.

Al Qaeda wants the U.S. to stay in Iraq

Like the Republicans, al Qaeda is in desperate shape. Just as George Bush Jr. insists that US forces must stay in Iraq because the Terroristsâ„¢ are there and want them out, the “foreign fighter jihadist types” need the American presence to fight. Without the occupation, the Sunni Iraqis – Religious or Ba’athist – lose their incentive to harbor the jihadists who are now useful against the Americans.

In other words, if the US leaves, “al Qaeda in Iraq” is out of a job.

See, for example, “Zarqawi’s successor,” Abu Hamza al-Muhajer (aka Abu Ayyub al-Masri). He is so frightened that the recent Iraq Mandate election in the United States will lead to a withdrawal, he has released a tape railing against Bush, questioning his manhood and such, apparently hoping that a last ditch, call-you-chicken-in-front-of-your-girl-type insult will give Bush some fresh talking points to keep this farce/tragedy going.

It will probably work. From CNN:

“‘Come down to the battlefield, you coward,’ the speaker says on the recording, which CNN cannot independently confirm as the voice of al-Muhajer.

Calling President Bush a ‘lame duck’ the speaker tells Bush not to ‘run away as your lame defense secretary ran away,’ referring to Donald Rumsfeld, who resigned Wednesday.”

The criminals in the Bush administration and the foreign jihadists need each other desperately. The people of Iraq and the United States need neither.

Comments welcome at Stress.

Throw Condi on a Plane

Okay, Rumsfeld is out, Cheney is in his cave, here’s what you do:

Put the worst secretary of State since Colin Powell on a plane to Tehran. Have her tell them that we will leave Iraq and shut up about their enrichment of uranium to 3.6% for their electricity program as long as they remain subject to the NPT and IAEA safeguards and promise not to obliterate the minority Sunni Arabs of Iraq when we leave.

Since the Ayatollah Khamenei offered everything for nothing in 2003, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that he’ll take it.

Otherwise, the US could just leave them alone since Iran is really none of our business, but that’s just me.

Comments welcome at Stress.

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