I was subwaying into Washington last night when I learned of a grave new terrorist peril.
The train’s driver kept repeating, “For safety and security reasons, please do not take pictures or video recordings of Metro trains and buses.â€Â He recited this core message with often mystifying enunciation after each subway station.
To jazz up the rendition, he occasionally added ominously at the end of the announcement: “POLICE WILL BE NOTIFIED.â€
If that actually happened, it could wake up Metro police, putting them in a more surly mood than usual. The subway police are renown for their heroics in arresting 12 year old girls criminally consuming French Fries within Metro confines. But in recent years, they have broadened their hassle-outreach.
I took some photos of a subway train entering the Tenleytown station a few weeks ago. To my untrained eye, the photos all looked like crap, thanks to my camera savvy and the dim lighting in the station.  But to experts at Homeland Security, the blurs might contain a secret message for Al Qaeda.
I was not surprised to learn of my terrorist tendencies, since people have been emailing me such accusations IN ALL CAPS for the last 4 years. But I did a quick Google search and found heaps of clear photos of the Washington subway.
Even worse, the subway system itself has created and released photographs of trains.  Terrorist infiltration of the subway system might but probably doesn’t explain all the recent train breakdowns and delays.
Unfortunately, I was the only person on the train who snorted loudly when the driver announced the photo ban and the police warning. Perhaps people in Washington are more docile than elsewhere – perhaps some people are comforted by the endless halfwit bans.
At least in Washington, antiterrorism BS still sells.
Comments & cavils on this post welcome at my blog here.