Lt. Gen. Lynch Growing Tired of Waiting for His Droid Army

“There’s a resistance saying that armed ground robots are not ready for the battlefield. I’m not of that camp,”
– Lt. Gen. Rick Lynch

Perhaps underscoring the old adage that “to a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail,” Lieutenant General Rick Lynch, who holds a masters degree in robotics, is pretty sure all his problems in Iraq could be solved with a massive army of battle droids.

Lt. Gen. Lynch is now claiming that 80 percent of the soldiers who died under his command could have been saved if only he had enough killbots.

There’s got to be a sense of urgency here,” Lynch noted, “I am so tired of going to demonstrations.”

Lynch is also hoping to deploy heavily armed robots to places where he suspects IEDs might be planted to “kill those bastards before they plant the IEDs.” It has to be noted, however, that US forces killed several farmers in Afghanistan this summer because they couldn’t tell the difference between IEDs and cucumbers, and question if the robots are any more observant.

30 thoughts on “Lt. Gen. Lynch Growing Tired of Waiting for His Droid Army”

  1. The picture is slightly inaccurate: General Grievous is actually a cyborg. He was about 90% droid, but still had an organic brain, lungs, and perhaps a few more bits. His origin isn't explained in the films, but I think one or more of the books contain that information. If you don't mind the spoilers, you could always check wookiepedia.

  2. There are many uses for robots that don't involve actually firing rounds. While I think it would be cool to have an army of terminators or droids, the reality is that autonomous fighting units just aren't a possibility yet. But there are many arenas where robots could prove helpful to human soldiers;

    – a hovering or tethered analysis robot which precedes convoys and detects IEDs by flying above the road
    – tiny bee-sized robots with cameras which allow human soldiers to do recon without endangering themselves.
    – those same bee robots can be used to tag enemies for bringing down precision munitions. Imagine putting a micro-tag on a Taliban leader without his knowing it.
    – remote controlled vehicles out on remote passes, both for recon and stopping enemy columns from using the passes. Sort of an on-the-ground UAV being controlled from afar…to save American lives.
    – and dozens more

    I wrote a similar post on my blog… which is why I was interested in this post. It seems obvious that in a time of declining manpower, we need to start using some of these technologies where appropriate.

    1. Yea, imagine getting accidentally "tagged" yourself. Maybe they could give you an 800 number to call to "appeal" your death-sentence-by-tag put on you by a 19 yr old who could not figure out what career to pursue in the productive private economy, so he became a hit-man-for-hire (ooops, or was it "Army strong?").

      The notion that you can find a "humane" way to administer and control your foreign empire and all your foreign puppet (slave) countries is pretty cute. Yea, maybe robots could help make conquest and subjugation cheaper. But I hope it does not.

      Long live a free Iraq, and a free Afghanistan! Vietnam led the way, and they will be there soon, no matter how many billions of $s you pour into making them your step-in-fetchit puppets!

    2. You're too much in love, like those over paid generals, with all those "cool" gadgets to ponder the moral aspect. If everything in life is simply boiled down to a utilitarian view then your life is meaningless to dictatorial entities (The US government for example) outside of what you can bow down and give to them in tribute.

  3. The real question is whether these robots will be able to perform important duties like waterboarding or torture like regular American troops do so admirably at Gitmo Gulag or Bagram Air Force Base!

    1. Good God Man…You mentioned 2 isolated incidents, but neglected to speak of the schools, bridges, infrastructures, communities, and governments we've helped build, while under fire from insurgents and dodging hidden IEDs I might add!!

      So, what were you saying? You enjoy your freedom to make stupid remarks? Well my friend, you are entirely welcome!!

  4. The real question is whether these robots will be able to perform important duties like waterboarding or torture

    No way! We don't want the killbots to have all the fun!

  5. According to the good general the lack of robots 'caused' the death of 122 men. Of course 5,000 wouldn't have died if we hadn't attacked Iraq in the first place.

  6. As I suspected when I read the article Lynch is a USMA grad (class of 77). What do they do to those kids at West Point that turns them into men like this?

    1. People who go to West Point and the other military academies are screened ahead of time to ensure that the FedGov is getting only the most pliable, house-trained cyborgs possible. But, the urge to reproduce being what it is, it's only natural that the West Point cyborgs want to have children.

  7. I would only hope that this General is kept as far away as possible from anything having to do with nuclear weapons and is encouraged to retire soon.
    It's a sad day when ideas from films are being taken into the realm of reality…….

    1. Hey, wouldn't it be a hoot if one of these new fangled robots of Gen. Lynch accidentally got its metallic hands on The Red Button and pushed it just to see what would happen!

      Nuclear Winter here we come!

  8. Are we now to look forward to robots returning from America's killing fields with PTSD? And, will those robots – without the benefit of Asimov's three laws, or they couldn't kill – be rehabilitated and shipped to the households of American citizens, where they will spend their remaining days doing the washing and walking the dog? This idea to employ killer robots in conflict is crazy. Which means, of course, the Americans will go right ahead and do it.

  9. Trisha, If you've read up on DARPA and the Frankenstein horrors they're devloping you'd think that Mengele was fast-tracked into the US Military-Industrial establishment.

  10. Osama bin laden and his Hitmen – hey that rhymes! Why is the word Hitmen capitalized – are they an official organization – a subsidiary of al qaeda perhaps?

  11. During the Viet-Nam War, McNamara had a program called “Igloo White” which developed sensors which were dropped by A/C along the so-called Ho Chi Minh Trail. These sensors picked up acoustic or seismic signals (like from humans carrying supplies) radioed the activity back to Thailand from which bombers were launched. Modern technology, how wonderful! Except, the North Vietnamese soon figured out to move a seismic sensor off trail and to tether a chicken near it. A scattering of rice on the ground got the chicken to peck furiously until interrupted by a B-52 dropping a massive amount of ordnance on the hapless chicken. These droids will produce similiar “miracles”.

    1. Reminds me of those reports that came out of Serbia/Kosovo during the air assault that NATO launched. From what I remember, and I may be wrong, the Serbs put to good use a lot of wooden models of planes and cheap microwave ovens so that our quite expensive air to ground ordinance was "spent". I nearly laughed until I cried. Maybe that explains why they, NATO that is, had to bribe Russia with financial incentives so later they'd back stab the Serbs after agreeing to a pull out.

  12. Unless one has had the opportunity, such as I had, to participate in the Pentagon’s “blue sky” programs, one can easily underestimate the bizarre notions funded by the American taxpayer. I remember one intrusion program that was undertaken called TURDSID. This program purpose was to develop plastic dog feces containing piezioelectric chips that when stepped on, emitted electonic blips that were monitored by sensors and used on the Igloo White program (described above). The technical execution was perfect. The fake dog turds looked amazingly like dog turds. We tested the the TURDSIDs in the jungles of Panama with the grunts instructed to step on any TURSID laying on a trail. When stepped on, all of the proper bells and whistles worked. Production planning was iniated for manufacturing millions of TURDSIDs to be scattered on the Ho Chi Minh Trail. But, luckily a Norwegian Army major with a Ph.D. in psychology finally talked sense, when he correctly informed everyone that dogs were not prevalent in those parts of Viet-Nam, having been mostly eaten. Plus, he said “Why should anyone wish to step on a dog turd, especially if you are in sandals?” The program went away and I am sure that it is still classified today.

    1. Ah, you've been plagiarizing again. "TURDSID" never existed; that was a nickname given by the grunts, as the real meaning of "SID" is "Seismic Intrusion Device". They were actually covered with a dirt-like covering to blend into the clay soil in the area and only looked like turds when the crumbly covering was removed. A lot of what you're stating is B.S., too. I kept some of the sensors, still wrapped in their plastic "shrink-wrap" packaging to protect them before deployment. Packaged in an upper and lower strip of clear wrap, the wrap would be peeled apart, the SID removed and a pin removed prior to deployment of the device. The pin, which turned on the transmitter, was plastic with small ridges on it to prevent it working loose before deployment. I was there.

      The "lucky" Norwegian major never existed and is part of the myth still being propagated. There's a lot missing from the info you're reading on the web about this operation, and a lot more has been added to what really happened, leading to the syndrome you're exhibiting: "if I see it on the web enough, it MUST be true". The operation was fairly successful and ushered in some electronic technologies that hadn't previously been seen. Testing was done in the US, as there was no need to go to Panama to test such a device in jungle environments beyond what had been simulated here.

      Ironically, the SIDs were sold by surplus outifts for a while after the war. I wonder what those I've kept all these years are worth, as all but one of them are still in their packaging?

  13. I bet I am the only poster who has ever met General Lynch? IMO he is a fine man and a good soldier and I would serve under him with pleasure. I hope he get's a fourth star and another important command. Wish we had more like him.

  14. This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff about Lt. Gen. Lynch Growing Tired of Waiting for His Droid Army in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here! Keep up the good work.

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