Fighter Jets Scrambled to Save Us From Bathroom Activity

Yesterday there were two “security threats” where F16 fighter jets were scrambled to escort airliners after “terror threats” were declared.

In the widely-reported “breaking” story, a pair of fighter jets were scrambled to escort an American Airlines jet into New York’s JFK airport. Three people were reported “detained.”

We now learn that the pilot became spooked by passengers’ frequent trips to and from the restroom. Federal air marshals aboard flight 34 from Los Angeles to JFK were able to resolve the situation when the passengers complied with their instructions, police officials said. The pilot then radioed that the situation was under control and the plane landed safely. Three male passengers were questioned upon arrival (not really “detained”), but no charges were filed against them, authorities said.

The second incident requiring fighter jets involved two people aboard that plane were “allegedly behaving suspiciously,” according to the FBI spokesperson in Denver, Dave Joly. The plane was met in the Detroit airport by law enforcement and taken to a remote area for a security screening, but no explosives were found, Joly said.

Instead, the “suspicious behavior” was two people “making out” in the bathroom mid-flight, law enforcement sources told ABC News. Three people were taken into custody for questioning (three?), Frontier Airlines said in a statement, but no arrests have been made in that case either.

Thank goodness for the federal government keeping us safe!

10 thoughts on “Fighter Jets Scrambled to Save Us From Bathroom Activity”

  1. So, joining the 'mile-high' club will get one tossed into Guantanamo? That would sort of figure. The 'infomedia journaltainent' chorus did need some manner of validation after the fuss raised about "chatter" from them dang terroristas.
    "No credible intelligence" except two boneheads playing touch pee-pee in the airplane head…

      1. Hi JLS:No competition no way no how. Let us share the notion. Together. Well and/or together UNTIL I gets kicked off for being critical of Scott Horton.respectfully,skulz

  2. I have seen reports of a SWAT team boarding the planes and ordering everyone at gunpoint to put their hands on the seat top in front of them. This could have turned into a real bloodbath. This insanity has to stop.

  3. Whoever ordered the F-16 scramble should be billed for the wasted fuel. No, on second though – reimbursing the military for such waste would only encourage them to repeat the practice.

  4. I dont know about you guys but i feel safer…its nice knowing those fighter jocks are the ultimate birth control

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