Parallel-universe news from Gene Callahan and Bob Murphy:
October 10, 2003, New York City – Responding to growing public resentment over aggressive military campaigns, the United Nations today announced the release of a global “do-not-bomb list.” A new UN resolution makes it a crime to drop bombs on the territory of any government or group that has put its name on the do-not-bomb registry.
“The International Do-Not-Bomb Registry is fully up and running,” said Timothy Yuslis, chairman of the United Nations Aerial Warfare Commission. He called the move a “major victory for humans.”
Meanwhile, military groups, soon to face fines of up to $11,000 per kiloton for violating the rules, vowed to heed the wishes of potential bombees while considering legal options that might overturn the system.
Many humans applauded the new list. As Fazool Yansouri, a strong supporter of the measure, put it: “There’s really nothing more annoying than getting home from a hard day at work, sitting down to eat with your family, and then all of a sudden your meal is interrupted by a cluster bomb crashing into the kitchen, sending body parts flying hither and thither.”