Those kooky Afghans, with their crazy Eastern views. Look at them say silly things like:
“The Americans will never leave Afghanistan,” said Mohammad Ali, a 36-year-old shopkeeper in the northern city of Mazar-i-Sharif, one of seven areas due to move to Afghan security control this week. “They are withdrawing a few thousand of their soldiers as a cover for their long-term plans… They have invested a long time in Afghanistan and will not leave that easily.”
Yes, that’s positively… um. Actually this is pretty sharp. The Military-Industrial-Political Complex needs endless war for endless profit at the expense of the peaceful productivity of the unconnected. That’s not really up for debate. This leaves us to wonder why the piece is called “Afghan conspiracy theories as US drawdown begins.”
Other Afghans interviewed did indeed have some bizarre things to say, like that the US has taken all the natural resources and is now done with them. We know this isn’t true because 1) an entire country can’t be emptied of resources in 10 years and 2) the US is the worst, most bumbling empire ever, when we talk about extraction. The Brits, the Spanish, they knew how to rape countries. America just blows everything up at its own expense.
And then we’re treated to the boastful Afghans, those who say America lost the war and is fleeing. While there is some truth to this — the US hasn’t won anything — it’s because of utter incompetence and the plain economic impossibility of a successful occupation.
Finally, we have the “collaborators.” Those whom (we’re supposed to believe) want the US to occupy Afghanistan forever.
“My big fear after the withdrawal of the US forces is the return of the former armed groups,” said shopkeeper Ahmad Jawed in the western city of Herat. “They will come back and destroy everything that has been built over the past 10 years.”
Oh yes! All that magnificent infrastructure that began crumbling before the paint dried. Never mind the stuff the US has itself bombed into rubble. What else might be destroyed with the departure of the Americans? How about the most-corrupt state on the planet? Yes, it seems the Karzai bubble will be popping soon enough.
By mixing kooky quotes with some quite astute observations, and tossing in some alarmism à la last year’s Time cover girl — whatever will happen to us without our Great Protectors!? — AFP is the only one engaged in a conspiracy. That’s the one that makes a psycho out of anyone who wants this expensive, destructive war to just end already.