In unreported news, arson caused $50,000 damage to the home of Mennonite antiwar activists on October 20. Assuming this ever comes to trial, here’s a can’t-lose defense strategy:
1. Call the fire a preemptive strike
2. Insist that the victims were stockpiling weapons (the evidence must have been destroyed in the fire)
3. Frequently remind the jury about the goddamn foreigner who lived with the family and the propensity of goddamn foreigners to belong to al Qaeda
4. Note the benefits to the community that will come from rebuilding the home
Presto! Reelection! Er, acquittal.