Joe the Plumber Attempts to Cover War, Drowns in Irony

Remember Joe the Plumber? Me either but America (or a subset thereof) was apparently obsessed with this fellow for a week or two there. Unwilling to relinquish the limelight he appears to have lost months ago, Joe donned his reporters cap and went to Israel to cover the war on the Gaza Strip (or a subset thereof).

Upon arriving he chided his “fellow” reporters for being unpatriotic and opined on how fast the average Sderot resident has to take a shower, because, y’know… the rockets. Of course over a third of the Gaza Strip doesn’t even have running water, so I bet their showers are real short. If only we knew a plumber who wasn’t doing anything important, maybe he could fix that.

Joe followed up his war coverage by declaring that people shouldn’t be allowed to cover wars. “I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting.” Joe says he liked the coverage during WW1 and WW2, though his recollection is likely skewed by the fact that he wasn’t alive for either.

26 thoughts on “Joe the Plumber Attempts to Cover War, Drowns in Irony”

  1. You have to be a smooth-talking sociopath to do well at Fox. This guy is just a brainless tool. Maybe if they keep his lines short and teach him how to read them off a teleprompter…maybe. But I can see them trying him out for size, sure.

    1. I don’t know if all of those who do well at Fox are “smooth-talking” sociopaths. Sean Hannity seems to fit the “brainless tool” paradigm as far as I’m concerned.

  2. The fact that this brainless idiot is being paid any serious attention at all by a large segment of the public serves better than anything else to illustrate how far the social and intellectual de-evolution of this country has progressed.

  3. You are doing a disservice to yourself by simply dismissing him as a sociopath/idiot. He has opinions that are different from you.

    This man is a fascist. Plain and simple. He hates freedom of the press, he hates compassion. He wants the press to be abolished. That’s a fascist right there.

    Time to fucking call a duck a duck. Time to give that fascist some hell for his fascist claims. Fuck this asshole.

  4. Joe the, oh sorry, Samuel the lying tax evader is perfect for the American Market: Brain-dead fools whom only give a shit about themselves and believe the lies shoveled to them buy their Zionist owned press….

  5. I can hear the American/ Israeli Likudites saying, “Joe the Plumber can sell the Israeli war crimes to the American public.” What an insult.

  6. Your cartoon plumber is all wrong for this guy, Joe – need a view totally from the back bent over with his trousers/underwear way south. Of course, if he gets on FOX, we will have a chance to see even more of his ass than just the cleavage.

  7. Joe it’s time to lay down some pipe and find the right hole that’s going to fit your pipe.

  8. Israelis shower quickly because they usually have solar water heaters and the hot water runs out quick. Usually it’s a “Navy” shower.

    Where is Wuerzelbacher staying, anyway? With a family or at a hotel with a real water heater?

    Lester Ness
    Kunming
    China

  9. Were Wuerzelbacher a real Israeli, and not an American show-off, he’d have to carry weapons and take a chance of being killed.

    Lester Ness
    Kunming
    China

  10. There once was a Joe the Plumber.
    People just didn’t come any dumber.
    He couldn’t handle a pipe,
    So he dished up the tripe
    Till his brain couldn’t get any numb-er.

  11. The Pentagon has sponsored a legion of warbloggers and told them what to write. Why shouldn’t Israel sponsor this inarticulate douche?

  12. This is just more proof that the neocon rank and file, those that watch FAUX NEWS and listen to limbaugh, hannity, and their wannabes, are truly the dumbest people that God put on this green earth. To listen to them is breathtaking. They know nothing, and can’t think beyond what the aforementioned tell them to believe. And the so called progressives aren’t much better. We are surrounded by the dumbest people in the first world — but for not much longer. The USA will be leaving the first world soon for a place in the third world. Just like our rulers want. A third world empire with nukes. Stupid and controlled peasants, sacrificing for the “homeland”.

  13. And what makes Joe the Douchebag, err, Plumber think he is qualified to talk about anything related to the Middle East (or anything else for that matter)? This guy is little more than an attention whore. He received 15 minutes of fame thanks to John McCain and the ever-shallow MSM and now doesn’t want to get out of the limelight. If this f–ktard loves the idea of Israel mass killing Arabs in Gaza so much he should be allowed to sign up with the IDF and sent to the front lines and rid the rest of us of his crass stupidity.

  14. I disagree, the December-January Gaza Invasion is very similar to WW1 and WW2, both of these were a prolonged pointless bloodbath that just created the conditions for future conflict.

    Seems like Samuel or “Joe” is waiting for “Dubya Dubya 3” so Jesus can take him up to the clouds and he can live in eternal bliss.

    And what kind of coverage is he looking for?

    News Reporter: “We’ve been hearing artillery fire for the past 3 days as the British 22nd Royal Dragoons Division prepares to go ‘over the top’ towards the positions of the German 5th Brandenburg Imperial Grenadiers Division, if this attack is anything like the previous 9 or 10 we can expect that the first 2 or 3 waves will be completely slaughtered. The British Commanders hope that while the Germans are reloading their Machine-guns there will be time to launch a 4th wave to overcome the German rifle fire with a bayonet charge. They are hoping the Germans are finally running out of ammunition, they say they’ve already wasted 3 perfectly good Royal Fusiliers, Scots Guards, and Volunteer Australian Divisions in previous attacks to assess the situation on the German side. The German High Command on the other hand has reported that their battlefield assessment of the Machine-gun has been quite satisfactory. They also have responded positively to the French Army’s use of stylish bright colored uniforms on the battlefield. Reporting live from the battlefield in France.”

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