Santa’s Covert Operations

Another year has come and gone, and Norad has once again spent what it assures us is “practically no taxpayer dollars” tracking Santa Claus in his travels and indeed, travails.

Last year Santa was conspicuously absent from Iran, with his only stop off briefly reported and later redacted from the Norad site, replaced with a claim that he was visiting the international space station. This year he is overtly visiting Qom, Iran, likely to inspect the nation’s underground nuclear site before participating in the anti-government protests there.

And ever vigilant, he stopped once again at Guantanamo Bay, delivering gifts to detainees who have discovered they will be spending at least one more Christmas there in 2010. He didn’t stop in Thomson, Illinois, however, the new Guantanamo prison. As with President Obama, perhaps he is waiting for the FY 2010 budget to pass.

Some places just aren’t safe, even for an immortal, magical saint. Balochistan and Pakistan’s FATA were carefully avoided, likely a testament to just how much air traffic is already in the area. Yemen was also avoided, lest he be mistaken for another American cruise missile.

And even though Poland and the Czech Republic won’t be getting missile defense systems (much to the relief of their populations, which opposed making themselves targets by hosting it), they got plenty of presents. Serbia and the breakaway Republics of Abkhazia and South Ossetia, as usual, got the short end of the stick.

2 thoughts on “Santa’s Covert Operations”

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