Where Would Jesus Settle?

Once again reflecting the huge disconnect between Israel’s far-right government and common sense, Israeli MP Michael Oren, who previously served as Israel’s Ambassador to the United States, insisted that the US owes Israel unconditional support because God wills it so.

“God speaks only one language and it’s the language in which we are yelling at each other in the next hall,” Oren declared during the caucus, adding that Jesus, Mary, and Joseph would be considered “Jewish settlers in Bethlehem” today, and that God wants Israel to be strong.

The attempt to equate Jesus to settlers is a particularly bizarre comment, especially since it was made during a caucus focused on courting Christian support for Israel. It’s a transparently ham-fisted effort to shoehorn some of Israel’s worst, most opposed policies on the international community through Jesus.

On the one hand, the argument doesn’t hold water even within the spiritual context, as the Biblical story had Jesus et al. going to Bethlehem for the sake of a census. They were described in the text as living in Nazareth, which is an Israeli town, albeit one far-right parties are constantly trying to “trade” to a future Palestinian state because of all the Arabs that live there.

That’s neither here nor there, though, and the real issue is that Oren seems to believe this is part of a successful strategy to court US and international Christians toward supporting Israel. Oren appears to be dramatically underestimating the amount of work it takes to manipulate the average person, informed by his story of a far-right Texas Congressman promising him unlimited funds for Iron Dome because he thinks Jesus wants those missiles.

This ignores the reality that a far-right Texas Congressman would probably through money at anything war-seeming, and Oren’s four year term as the Israeli ambassador to the US appears to have left him convinced of our extreme gullibility.

17 thoughts on “Where Would Jesus Settle?”

  1. The answer of course is Palestine.

    Is this Oren schmuck trying to be the next netenyahoo?

  2. It was the Jews kingdoms who didn't like Jesus social political views because he was against the rules of incompetence, slavering , stealing people's wealth, being unjustly and doing wrong to Jewish and Arab people's, being slaves to Roman Empire and being greedy, in general what some today's politicians, bankers, oil companies executives, the kingdome of England and that Swedish king or the Angela Markell economical policies are set for EU to carry on the people of Greece, Spain, Italy, Portugal where people who have worked for their life have to cut their pensions for bankers thievery and Angela Markell ideas in "Germans" ruling Europe.

  3. Jezus was Jewish, so he would settle in one of the new housing blocks, with a nice swimming pool. He would venture outdoor with a Uzi slung round his shoulder and drive a nice car to get her with Maria and drive on one of the nice 'only for Jews' roads to a nice nightclub in Tel Aviv.

    1. Please use a sarcicon, such as <sarc>, as many on the web are to dim to otheriwise recognize it.

  4. Amazed how many people still reference the official Jesus story as being verifiable and correct, and not where it properly belongs, in the sphere of myth. We know very little about the facts, but we do know for example that there was NO Roman survey conducted in Bethlehem. And we also know that the town the messiah was supposed to have grown up in, Nazareth, did not yet exist in the 1st century AD. Instead the focus around Galilee at the time would have been on three Romano-Hellenistic cities which are strangely absent in the gospels. In addition, the readings of the scattered fragments in historical documents from the 1st C that at a stretch MIGHT be referencing the existence of a Christian cult at this point are widely disputed.

    The most charitable thing we can say about the new testament myth is that it is a remarkable blend of ancient Persian and Semitic mythic tales, fused into the real historical story of Antigonus Matthias, the last independent king of the Jewish kingdom, who led a failed rebellion in Jerusalem around 40 BC and was crucified under the orders of Mark Antony.

    On a religious/philosophical level the early Christian church drew its inspiration from a multitude of sources, mixing Judaic teachings with its own rival (pagan) mystery cult beliefs and Greek philosophy into one whole 'one size fits all' package that was eventually too good for the Romans (by the 4th C desperate to find some unifying idea to hold together a fragmenting imperium) to pass up on.

    So as regards visualising Jesus as a 'settler on the West Bank', it's about as ridiculous as visualising Mickey Mouse in the same role.

    1. You would be way less 'amazed' if you read some of the large-scale studies into adult human cognition – for example the OECD's PIAAC surveys.

      The median adult does not have the mental wetware to discriminate between competing narratives: only 5% of folks (equates to an IQ above about 127) are able to think syncretically – filtering information from varied informationally-dense sources, and being able to detect rhetorical clues (i.e., information deliberately concocted to support a narrative without explicitly saying so). Less than 1% (roughly, an IQ of 135) can do that with quantitative data as well.

      It doesn't mean that the people 15 IQ points either side of the median are bad people, or that they are 'stupid': they are of 'average' intelligence, by definition. But average is exceedingly limited, cognitively speaking: if you try to argue a complex point with a person of actually-average intelligence, the best way to 'influence' them is to resort immediately to 'artful' persuasion (i.e., bullshît)… which is why that's the go-tool tool of politicians, priests, judges and others who live parasitically or through fraud.

      I am certain you know people of actual, verifiable 'average' intelligence: I certainly do, and for the most part they're fine people who work hard, try to live a decent life, and want to be happy. That's a completely different point to their inherent gullibility, and their incapacity to work out when they're being bullshîtted (which is actually a metacognitive problem). Plus, the majority of them are in shît up to their top lip – life is a cycle of sleep-eat-commute-work-commute-watchTV… rinse and repeat. By the time they get home from their 1-hour commute after 9-10 hours in an office or factory, they are emotionally drained and mentally exhausted: they are therefore highly susceptible to being 'nudged' by the TV.

      What I am effectively saying – and this does sound elitist – is that talking to a person of average intelligence is like talking to a moderately-bright child. A member of the 'herd' does not experience any cognitive growth after the age of about 15; imagine yourself at 15 and you over-estimate the average adult.

      Little wonder then, that they appear to cling to provably-stupid narratives that are indoctrinated into them as kiddies: 'Murka is a force for good'; 'terrrrrrrists hate us for our way of life, not our bombing of their children'; 'Jeebus was a real, blond-haired, blue-eyed hippie'; 'the [insert name of book of primitive nonsense here] is the inerrant word of [insert fictional Sky Wizard here]'.

  5. Oren is aware that his ancestors had Jesus killed on trumped up charges, isn't he? The Prince of Peace wasn't about running people off their land to establish His Kingdom, which is not of this world, but offered a new way to live that rejected the violence of the Old Testament. Speaking of which, for my fellow Christians, read 1 Samuel 8. The Lord lays out what will happen if you put your faith in earthly kings and kingdoms such as modern day Israel.

  6. What should the 3 Little Pigs do when the Israeli Wolf comes to tear their houses down?

  7. Jesus is a Muslim!
    One of the mightiest messengers of Islam!
    He done many miracles by the permission and power of god.
    He is one who submitted to God and prayed to God while on earth!
    The historical Jesus is different to the Christian Jesus.

  8. Sommetider folk ved ikke, hvornår turisme er en sikreste løsning til at få os i at studere sundere. Undertegnede har en idé i dem af jer som kan besidde været kede med aktiviteterne i hverdagen, der findes ved i den hensigt at læse artikler relateret i rejse information, som jeg skrev, plus titlen eller sikkert hvis man har snarere du evner også lytte til artikler andre attraktioner, som undertegnede titlen jeg håber det, undertegnede giver over disse kommentarer kan ofre en positiv værdi og værd for dig alt.

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