James Bond’s Secret Plot to Occupy the Crimea

With MGM eagerly promoting the newest James Bond film Quantum of Solace, the 22nd such film from Eon Productions, Ukrainian actress Olga Kurylenko should be enjoying the spotlight as the latest Bond girl. She plays a Russian-Bolivian agent in the movie, in which Bond has to foil pseudo-environmentalists from taking over Bolivia. But she’s also run afoul of the Communist Party of St. Petersburg for her newfound affiliation with the fictitious super-spy.

The group also condemned Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett as “capitalist puppets” for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which they said was anti-Soviet propaganda. They seem to have an even bigger problem with Ms. Kurylenko however, slamming her for assisting “a man who worked for decades under the orders of Thatcher and Reagan to destroy the USSR.”

A fictitious man, to be sure, but party leader Sergei Malinkovich claims that “Everyone knows that the CIA and MI6 finance James Bond films as a special operation of psychological warfare against us. This Ukrainian girl sleeps with Bond and that means that Ukraine is sleeping with the West.” He accused Ms. Kurylenko of betraying her homeland and wanting “Crimean girls to be raped by cruel and stupid American marines,” an apparent reference to the Ukraine-Russia dispute over Russia’s Crimean Black Sea Fleet HQ in Sevastopol.

21 thoughts on “James Bond’s Secret Plot to Occupy the Crimea”

    1. All the James Bond films are brilliant, but my fav' actor is Danial Craig. He is an overall Great Actor, with "talent" and many other Movies he Stars in are Cracker.

  1. Wouldn’t you think that in the age of news reports, media coverage and endless debates about cloak and dagger stuff, the inside story of the never ending circle of intrigue— that a little light entertainment would be fun? May be the well read person thinks the rest are thickoes and will fall for any silly story–Even so, does Elvis live, did America really go to the moon and who the hell voted for Bush. That’s enough of circumlocutional ideas. These philosphical questions may confuse the highest of minds. Has Plato said my parents got their name by tickling their feet!!!

  2. The man is some sort of a cartoonish peasant and easy to ridicule, but at some level he is actualy right. Russia got screwed over by the West in 1990s over and over again. The country plunged into poverty by Western backed Jelcin. Westerners have been ever since importing good-looking Russian brides from over there wanting to escape the poverty. And now to top it all James Bond gets to hump a Russian hottie.

    He may be just a movie character, but the movie is patriotic Hollywood garbage worshipping Western inteligence servies and the actress is an actual Russian-Ukrainian. What would Americans have to say to a US bimbo that acted in a Russian movie where Ivan Drago would get to have his way with her? In a world where the USSR had actually won the Cold War and proceeded to humiliate USA in every way possible?

    1. Hollywood caters for a large audience just to make money. With regards to political skull duggery it is estimated that 40 million American will vote in this election, the most ever, yet 201.5 million have the right to vote–approx.19% will take time out. I say keep the garbage comming who cares and let the commies provide the tottie (women)

    2. Well said Robert Mitchum.

      Hollywood was, I am covinced, the best propaganda tool the US possessed throughout the 20th. century. I should know, my father owned a cinema in the third world. The best brainwashing is when the victim thinks he is being entertained. It certainly fooled the people of Eastern Europe and some in the former Soviet Republics who equated Hollywood’s fantasies about the American way of life with reality. The joke is now on them…

      PS Robert Mitchum was a stalwart of that fictional image.

  3. Well, there a lot of conspiracy kooks out there and some of them live in Russia. Critical thinking is a rare skill just about everywhere.

    Lester Ness

  4. If this apparatchik seriously believes that James Bond worked for decades under the orders of Reagan and Thatcher to destroy the USSR, no wonder the Soviets lost the Cold War!!!

  5. It’s good to see that at least some people know that hollywood is a propaganda/PsyOp factory for the US government…as always, though, the american sheeple are totally f#&kin’ clueless about it! LMAO…Americans are the village idiots of the Global Village! XD

    But, like the drooling neighborhood retard who doesn’t know his own strength, the american sheeple bring harm upon anyone or anything that catches their lazy eye! Good god! Who will stop them?!

  6. If only the U.S. had adopted a pro-Russia stance after 1991, helping the country, instead of taking advantage of its weakness and chaos to expand Nato, attack Serbia, and pursue needless hegemonic agendas in eastern Europe and the Baltic. What if the west had dissolved Nato after the Warsaw Pact was dissolved as a goodwill gesture? Had floated Russia an interest-free 100 billion dollar loan (only a fraction of the cost of the Iraq war) and had done everything it could to lessen the historically justified Russian paranoa? What a different world we might be living in today. But Washington just couldn’t resist the temptation to rub Russia’s nose in its defeat and gloat. How sad. I don’t see where an alliance with Estonia is better then having Russia’s friendship.

    1. Andy Russia had and still has a different ideology then the west and in this financial conservative turmoil we find ourselves in, who wants the west for a friend. Propaganda is a status quo arguement for both sides. If you take Russian chess they spent millions on promoting their interlectual superiority to the world only to find— Garry Kasparov one of the best ever Russian players is now trying to change the polit bureau mind. All I can say is form a circle it will come around again what ever the propinquity, ideology or propadanda is.

      1. It doesn’t matter what Russia’s “ideology” is. What matters is that the United States deliberately and needlessly chose to pursue a policy that was guaranteed to antagonize Russia when it could have chosen a more prudent one. Nor does the USA gain anything in my view from underwriting the security of places like the Baltic states. Should we risk a war – perhaps nuclear war – over places like Estonia? Why? What for?

        1. The Cold War has, I fear, permanently changed US society and the way ordinary people think. Many cannot imagine life without a Cold War, an Evil Empire. Of course, dismantling the military-industrial complex would cause quite a bit of economic disruption. But in the long run, spending our money and energy on making useful things would profit us a great deal. But instead we spend, what?, 3 billion a week? in Iraq. It might as well be burned, except that wouldn’t murder a million Iraqis.

          When I was a boy, in the heart of the Cold War, we were taught “hate the Commies, fear the Commies, kill the Commies!” I took part in the Viet Nam War and helped kill perhaps a million civilians. (At long distance: I never heard a shot fired.) Now, our leaders tell us “hate the Muslims, fear the Muslims, kill the Muslims,” and perhaps a million Iraqis have died because of the US government. What next? Probably “hate the Chinks, fear the Chinks, kill the Chinks.” I can tell you, my students here in China are no danger to the US. But some people are already broadcasting that Revelations decrees a nuclear war between the US and China!


        2. Lester, it would be wonderful if we could all work for the unity of the world, but unfortunetly our history has be riggled with mistakes, bad leaders, apathy and the need to control our own destiny. Our animal instincts puts fences up to hold what we have and the rabid try to take more. It is not surprising then that the idea of a ‘GOD’ not of this world is the salvation of humanity and the rest—well we try our best.

  7. The Crimea will be a pivotal location for Die Dollar Die, which will refer to the English Nobles who fled England in 1066 and presented themselves to the Emperor of Constantinople and became members of the Varangian Guard, but who subsequently sort out land to colonise, which led them to the Crimea, where they took over and re-named town London, Richmond, York, etc. This history had been lost to time, but the relatives of those early Angles from England, remained, intergrated and became fabulously influential, building of all things the Massandra Palace. Their influence can be linked to both the Romonov's and the Medicis and the Rothschilds as well as funding much of the East India Company, the US dollar [via shareholdings in the Fed] pound [BoE] and now China, via shareholdings in corps and soon to be – The Red Dollar – nominated in Rubies.

  8. It's another gorgeously drawn game, I love that while Bastion retained a colourful setting, Transistor is deliberately darker and bleaker and the melancholy tone fits better. Korb's score, while great, hasn't quite hit the heights of the previous game (There's nothing as haunting as "Build That Wall" so far).
    Managed IT Services

Comments are closed.